So ask yourself – what if I actually succeed? What if my fear is not that I’ll crash and burn, but instead that I’ll rise and become the best version of myself possible? And I assure you, that that fear is the best kind of fear there is. Because it inspires you, not just to push forward, but to leave what and who no longer serve you.
Our suffering begins in the mind. It begins with every thought that runs a thread down into the rabbit hole, until we’re scouring the bottom of our deepest fears. Alone. But just as we’ve created that suffering, so too, can we create our salvation. I promise you that the trip back up from that bottom is the hardest one yet. But we have the means. We just need the reason.
I don’t believe that time heals all wounds. I think that’s bullshit. I think that’s what we’ve been led to believe so that we’ll stop talking about our grief with people who pretend their wounds are just little scars.
Our bellies are sacred. They are the seat of our power, our love, our connection to ourselves, each other, our world, and our purpose. They are not meant to be cut down, chiseled into, or shrunken in order to fit jeans, stereotypes, or fear-based expectations. Allow them to grow with nourishment, rise and fall freely with breath, and give life to children, ideas, and even your damn self.
What we need is to love one another, even when love is not what we want, even when we don’t know how to accept it when it’s offered. We need to put aside our desire to understand someone’s pain, and just sit by them as they feel it.
If and when you hurt, notice if the first thing you do is mentally proclaim – “I am fine.” And then be honest, as brutally as you can in that moment; because the truth is, we’re not fine when we hurt. But just because we aren’t, doesn’t mean we’ll never be OK again. And in order to cross that threshold of pain, we must surrender to what crushes us.